(Source: fuckjerry)
2 hours ago - 
7
7Yesterday, I read through my old Gaia blog I made through sophomore year. I am surprised at my consistency, I usually cannot keep up with blogging or just about anything. I eventually give up and reason I could be doing better things. Even though that’s what I did, I kept up with it for a year. I have concluded that I am almost exactly the same, yet very much different from myself two-three years ago.
Through reading it, I found out that I had “senioritis” at the start of sophomore year. I was lazy and complained about everything that came close to my vicinity. I had an awesome music taste and posted tons of Opeth lyrics. I also argued with my parents and was depressed the majority of the time.
Although the situation was undesirable, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Many of my problems have helped make me myself, and I can only think of how boring I would be without being myself. Depression helped me to find music that I would have never find before, it helped me to pick up the guitar, and other things.
I don’t know where I am going now. I feel as if I am in a downward spiral to seclusion from the outside. Was it the break up that caused me to feel terrible? Not entirely, it was more of a wake-up call telling me that I needed to go back to reality. I was happy disregarding everything else because I didn’t have to think about it. My mind now is reminding me that I need to do something. Don’t know what, but it just won’t stop. It’s like a broken record.
My mind is a broken record, just repeating the same thing over and over. Get me out of here.
Some days I look like John Lennon…
Was this what the hype was all about?
Was it really what everyone said it would be like?
I don’t like this.
Get me out of here.
3 days ago - 33
33I am very patient and pessimistic.
I was born patient, raised to be pessimistic.
When I get to a fork in the road and I find I have to make a decision, my mind locks up and refuses to make any decision and just debates with itself.
Accomplishing nothing and everything at the same time.
Should I wait?
Or should I realize it will never happen?
Should I escape?
Or should I risk being hurt?
Am I wrong?
Or was it just a misunderstanding?
Is anything still here?
Or am I just stuck in a daydream?
Is it all just me trying to keep my mind occupied from the start?
4 days ago - 6
6Frustration has me cornered on all sides. Every aspect of life is telling me to go insane. I think I have already reached insanity. The problem is, what do I do with it?
